I think I'm going to be sick. My heart hurts bad. I've been e-mailing my former boyfriend from ages past and haven't gotten an answer from him at all. I suppose it doesn't seem right that I'm e-mailing him though after all these years. I got so fed up last night that I e-mailed Greg about twenty-thirty times from all three of my e-mail accounts from AOL and Yahoo. I told my psychiatrist about trying to reconnect with him, but she warned me that I shouldn't reconnect with people I haven't seen in a long time. She said I could get in trouble for stalking. Isn't stalking when somebody has a dagger? I don't have a dagger. Anyways, I've been praying that the Holy Spirit comfort me, because He's all I have. He's the only One Who loves me. I've been hearing the song over and over again in my head, "The Ocean Floor" by Audio Adrenaline. The verses go like this, "Your sins are erased, Your sins are no more, They are out on the ocean floor." King Jesus is good to me. I've been thinking that maybe I'd be better dead than alive so I can be with Jesus. I hate every single man who comes to me who's interested in a relationship with me; they're either too old or too ugly or both and most of them are male-chauvanist pigs. Actually none of them compare to Greg or Jesus. I suppose Greg doesn't compare to Jesus either, but what am I: a nun? I hate nuns too! They are so evil, mean, and cruel! Especially to non-catholics. They mistreated me so wickedly in 1992. Anyway, I don't want to be a nun. But I am dedicated to Jesus. As I was saying, Greg doesn't compare to Jesus' faithfulness.
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