Trying to Live Again

It's been about a year and a half now since Mom was here in the flesh with me.  I've succeeded managing my anxiety that settled in a few months after her passing away when I was all alone in Florida and it sank in I was all alone.  I was a little crippled socially because all I ever done was live with Mom for 25+ years every day without any interacting with too many people.  Her elderly friend became my friends.  I never married because I never dated since men only assaulted/raped me if they got close to me and never respected me.  (I was recently able to finally report the third one to the Tulsa sheriff and now the Tulsa FBI about something that happened in 1991.  I think I should follow through and report the fire fighter from Gwinnet county, Georgia who raped me in 1990.  These men were in their 30's.)  Anyway, the VA was able to help me with their psychosocial recovery classes, but the drive there was an hour away and I couldn't make it every day because the drive would wear me out.  I was so happy when my local sheriff let me volunteer for them last year.  I've been on vacation since September 2017 in Ohio near my sister's family because they wanted me away from that monster hurricane.  It turned out it didn't hurt my neighborhood at all.  Since January 2018 I began Weight Watchers once again (5th time) and I decided to stick with it this time.  I've lost 14 pounds so far.  It really works and this new program is so much better than the last ones.  One of the goals was to look beautiful like my Mother when she was younger an thinner.  She was the original classic Italian aristocrat beauty born in Italy in a hometown that didn't even have electricity yet.  She would walk to the local stream and scoop up the water from the top and carry it back home.  Beautiful Mama.  Her father worked in America and sent all his money to his wife.  Mom's mother would buy land with that money and eventually bought a vineyard.  Mom had a respectable boyfriend too before she had to leave for America after her mama died.  He was a captain in the Italian military.  If she stayed to marry him she would had been given the title of Donna, something of aristocracy an respectability.  But she obeyed her mother, and left all her mother's gold jewelry and treasures in Italy to be with her only surviving family members, and lived with her brother's family until she married Dad in 1948.  God bless Mom and Dad.