I did it!

Yesterday wasn't so bad. I went through the colposcopy, but I never want to do it again. I was somewhat comfortable, and the nurse did everything she possibly could for me, and I'm grateful. But when the doctor clipped my cervix, I could feel it. I just thank God that there are no nerves in the cervix or else it would had been worse pain. It just felt like a very bad, bad cramp. I'm praying and asking God to have the biopsy come back normal so they don't have to scrape my cervix. Savior Jesus, save me.

GYN appointment

I've got to wake up early tomorrow morning for my doctor's appointment, but I can't sleep. I'm so afraid of the procedures that the doctor wants to do to me. But my friend, Missy, says that fear is from the devil and I shouldn't be afraid. First, the doctor wants to do a colposcopy on me which is where the doctor takes a microscope up my vagina and looks at my cervix. Second, she might have to do a LEEP which is where the doctor applies anethesia to the cervix with a long needle and then scrapes the dead and stagnant skin off the cervix. I'm scared because I don't want that needle going up my vagina and into my cervix! But if she does the LEEP, I'm going to want some sort of local anethesia, but I just wish it didn't have to be given by a needle. And in addition to all this, I have to go to the lab 2-3 hours before my gyn appointment for a pregnancy test. I suppose my knowing that I'm not pregnant because I'm not sexually active is not a good enough answer for them. I'm going to just tell the doctor that I don't want the LEEP done on my body. That's all. I wonder if this is all happening because of some evil man who wished this wicked situation on me...like a curse; probably from some "religious" fool who hated me. I mean religious, as in religiously says he's not religious yet lies about himself being engaged and married and hates me for liking him because I thought he was single: yes, I'm talking about Carman Licciardello - the "Christian" singer. Anyway.........Savior JESUS, Save me!