I served too..........

I served in the military and went through a bunch of sexual abuse, sexual harassment, and sexual discrimination, which produced a very bad attitude in me by the time I was honorably discharged which, by the way, was not my idea. I wanted so bad to have a nice career proudly serving my country in the footsteps of my father, but I had to work with morons who took advantage of my body, mind, spirit, and innocence. They didn't care that I wanted to be an officer; they didn't care that I graduated from an elite, private high school, and they especially didn't care that I loved Christ Jesus. JESUS' name was a taboo. But I spoke His majestic and holy Name anyway. If I could just write my life story, it would be enough. I could forgive the world for destroying my life because they are expected to be worldly and cruel without God's love. But what hurt me the most was a church who I connected with spiritually and mentally. I depended on that church so much after I was royally thrown out of the service, and they threw me out too. I tell you, when the church can't love their sister and brother who are in need, there's no hope for the world. God is Love, and if the church does not have love nor show love, then there is no love at all in the world. But then again, what about the love of a father, and mother, and family members: God must be somewhere in their hearts even though they aren't "church" people. Maybe the church isn't what it's suppose to be; then again, maybe I just went to a bad church. All I know is that I haven't felt like I click in with any group of people anymore; I feel totally like an outcast. I mean, I was a whole person before I went into the military, and then I came out all messed up. After being out of the service and church for 15 years, I am just now struggling to go back to church on a regular basis, but it is so very hard. I attend services only occasionally these days. What I've learned is that there's nothing like family. I left my family when I was young because I thought they were all disfunctional, but when it came to push and shove, they were there for me. I was homeless when I got out of the military because I couldn't take care of myself having been totally oppressed with psychiatric symptoms (that the military did not treat me for even though they recognized it). It was my family who gave me a home again. Now all I do is stay home and go to my doctor every month, and take strong medicine to keep me sane. I want to write a book about my life story so badly. I know it would make the best seller list; there's so much I've done and so much I've went through. I guess I could write about my past in my blog. That's what it's for, isn't it? But I can't concentrate very well; I'll have to do it little by little. All I know is that I've always lifted up Christ JESUS all my life, including while I was young, and He has taken care of me and made me want for nothing. God is so very GOOD. My Savior has truly saved me.