I've forgiven my friends. Thank God for friends. However, I'm keeping my distance from when they just want to use me and not associate with me nor value me for me and my gifts of teaching and correcting when I disagree. I think the Lord is teaching me the difference between constructive positive feedback and flattery. I never meant to be so simple all my life. The Lord had given me the gift of wisdom in my younger years, but things became confusing when I fell in love with my music producer. He should take responsibility and remember how positive, productive, and active I was with him and for him while he was waiting for me to come back to writing songs in Florida in the beginning of 2022 after visiting family up north.
The year 2022 was very productive. I was more that just a singer/songwriter. I was an author of my illustrated poem book and my magazines the Lord laid on my heart to design for His Body of Christ. The last issue will be this coming January. When Neal stopped calling, I surrounded myself with three hobbies to drown out the silence of him not talking to me. I want to go back to silence again without my three hobbies. The websites were fun to send people to, but nobody buys unless a person sells. Avon sold itself. Mary Kay is just fun because of the free skin care facials and classes. And DoTerra essential oils, well, I've been wanting to own all those oils since I was in my 30's when they first came out. So in a way, the Lord gave me the desires of my heart to stay occupied.
But I just want to focus on Christ's work now: His gift of writing songs, reading those books to start my homeless and discipleship ministries, and in my spare time making handmade gifts with essential oils with my own line of skin care essentials, as well as continue managing my unique, rare, gifted talents & skills online at my website www.annamaria.live. I really need to do the last steps of putting my music on iTunes and SoundCloud as a professional artist. My music and talent is in the Lord's hands. I loose and release me and my talents in The Lord's hands.
And so now is November, soon to be Thanksgiving to be with family. I've been learning to give my family up to the Lord too. I left my family and home once in my 20's for the Lord, and He gave them back to me to be a witness to them and tell them, actually show them what great things He's done for me. Anymore, they've been only jealous and evil towards me and stealing from me, demanding me to give them what I've been given and inherited. I think it's time to leave family again, unless it's just a test. But Christ Jesus said that your family will be your worst enemies regarding the Gospel. And the ones who lived in my house destroyed my $1900 cross that was lifted up to draw the street people to Christ, as well as my 65" TV, and other property. Now they don't want to pay me back for it. I have the right to evict them, but how do you evict a sibling from the home she was raised in? And the sibling has kids to defend her even when she's wrong, and I don't have anybody but God Who hears my prayers. He did hear my complaint about the problem. I heard an audible voice in my right ear say, "Daughter is home." It brought my memory to the scripture of the repentant Prodigal Son, because after all, my sibling is in a somewhat state of repentance by divorcing her wiccan witch pagan husband who abused all our properties. The Lord has answered my prayers to open her eyes and to finally break ties with her abuser who didn't even bow to Christ, nor was thankful for giving him a roof over his head by the way he destroyed my property. After I heard "Daughter is home," God gave me a vision of my young Dad and his hands and arms wrapped around my young pregnant Mother's belly that let me know Daddy God loved all his babies that he co-created in Mom, which included my sister, despite Dad's human nervous problems towards Mom while she was pregnant with my sister. Even though Dad loves all his children, the vision was meant to let me know God forgave and washed Dad's sins away because Dad loved much. However, not just my sister's repentant state of mind came to remembrance, but also daughter was home, like this daughter... like I was home so long ago back with Mom when Mom had to reprogram my mind. The Lord was reminding me to minister to my sister as my Mother ministered to me: help her reprogram her mind, and give healing to be a whole person again back to before she ever met him, as long as she would just honor Christ in my home with the Word of God.
